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2018 ~ The Year For Adventure

I do not make resolutions because I assure you that they will be broken before January 1st has come and gone. I just have trouble feeling confined and resolutions make me feel all boxed up. So, i just don't make them.

I do however sometimes create a theme for the year. It isn't something I consciously think about but rather something serendipitous that comes
along and gets my attention. My mom has always said that whatever you do on New Year's Day you will end up doing for the whole year. I have never actually seen that happen except where work was concerned but then...there is work if you know what I mean. It seems based on a single incident today that 2018 is going to be my year for adventure.

Many, many years ago like more than 30 I was reading the Tassajara Cookbook for the first time. The recipes looked absolutely scrumptious. I love cooking, and well, I love eating too. I couldn't wait to try my versions of many of the recipes until I came to a recipe where greens were cooked with apricots. I didn't eat greens at that time, except for spinach, and I was having a little trouble wrapping my brain around eating
spinach with apricots in it. Then I decided that it would be pretty good so I eventually tried stir frying spinach with onion and dried apricots. It was really tasty.

Following the recipe for greens and spricots was a suggestion to use bananas in your greens. Well, at that point I was about to roll around on the floor in total disbelief! Greens and bananas, oh yuck! I shuddered at the thought and continued to shudder at the thought over the years.

Since that first introduction to the idea of having fruit with greens I have had many fruits with greens and I don't just mean in smoothies. I have cooked greens with citrus fruits, pears, apples and pineapple to name a few. I have also used grapefruit and oranges in spinach salad as do many people. Greens and fruit make a very happen combination, especially in smoothies.

I also have started eating many other greens and hate that I missed eating them all of these years. In fact, my favorite greens are collards which I refused to even touch until one day I saw a nice looking bag of fresh chopped collards for .99 at Kroger's. Oh my, it was love at first bite. Now I am not sure I would like just anyone's collards but I sure like the ways that I cook them.

This brings us to today, January 1st, 2018. I have collards cooking because well, it is New Year's day and I need my collards for good luck. I also have several bananas that need to be eaten before they start getting brown spots on them. It was lunch time and I wanted to eat both. I wanted a banana and I wanted a bowl of greens. Suddenly Edward Espe Brown's suggestion to have bananas in greens came to my mind. At first I was like, "No way!" Then I was like, "Why not?"

I got a banana and a small bowl of collards. With no small amount of trepidation I put a little bit of banana on my spoon and then got a few collards on it. I decided that I was crazy but I took the bite. It was good. I was surprised but decided to go out on a limb a little more so I put a few slices of bananas in my bowl of greens stirred them in and ate them. Hey, this was really tasty. So I decided to go all out, I added my usual Creole seasoning and sports peppers to my greens then sliced the rest of the banana in, stirred it up good and took another bite. Oh my goodness, oh my goodness...wowzer, this was really, really good. I couldn't believe it. Wow, just wow. Bananas and greens are delicious together and I have missed eating them all of these years. Dang!

As I was enjoying my collards and banana I thought about my mom's saying, then decided that 2018 was going to be my year for adventure and stretching my boundaries. My life has been rather consticted the past several years and it is beyond time to stretch my wings a bit before they get to rusty for flying.

I am looking forward to my year of adventure delighted that it started with a banana and a humble little bowl of collards. Who'd thunk it?

Now, I wonder how much it will cost to book a trip to Machu Pichu or Barcelona even? LOL!!! Maybe I won't be quite that adventurous unless, of course, I win the Powerball.

Ciao Babes!

On Being OCD...

I am OCD/OC. Many clinicians, advocates and consumers would insist that the correct way to state this is that I have been diagnosed with OCD or something similar. Okay, I have been diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder but I live it and breathe it day in and day out. It is part of who I am so if I want to say I am OCD then that is my business and everyone else can pay attention to their own affairs. As I often say, "you go to your church and I'll go to mine."

My OCD can manifest itself in many different ways. Sometimes I am washing my hands so much that I think that my skin will just dissolve and other times I am so inflexible in something that is going on that I make everyone else around me crazy. My symptoms ebb and flow. Medication helps but it is not a magic answer, just like it is not an answer for most medical conditions. I used to take Ascendin for OCD and it was the best medication that I had taken for this condition but the side effects caused me a great deal of trouble so I had to quit taking it. That was a bummer.

My OCD quite possibly is accompanied by Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder as well. I do meet sufficient criteria for the diagnosis but on other criteria I am so far the opposite of them I have left many a clinician baffled so they just have diagnosed me with OCD and let me work through my symptoms as best I can. You know that really pretty much sums up how to deal with OCD and OCPD. There are treatments and therapies but what it comes down to is trying to be as functional as possible day in and day out. Some days I am more successful at this than other days.

Today I learned that I have another obsessive behavior that I had not even been aware of. I am a hair "puller" at times. I don't mean trichotillamania I mean holding onto handsful of hair and pulling it. I have found that I do this when I sit in one particular chair in my home. I learned that I do this when I commented on how my hair looked while talking to Miss Teffers. I noticed it while I was, ahem, washing my hands. Steffie said that it was like that because I pulled my hair. I walked out of the restroom and looked at her like she was crazy. I asked her what she meant about me pulling my hair. She then told my that when I sit in my chair I pulled my hair. I rolled my eyes decided that she was imagining things and went to sit in my chair to continue whatever other conversation we had been having. In the middle of the conversation Steph said, "You are doing it now."

I realized at that point that I had a handful of hair in my hand, that I was was indeed pulling it and that yes, I do that quite often while sitting in that chair and ONLY while sitting in that chair. I don't know what it is about. I don't really care except that I mess up my few attempts to actually brush my hair and have decided that as long as I don't start pulling out handsful of hair that I am just not going to sweat it. I have way too many peccadilloes and eccentricities to worry about the fact that I pull my hair when sitting in my chair in the living room. I don't spend that much time in that chair anyway. At least I am not frying the skin off of my hands with hot water when I do that so there you go.

I do hate when I find myself being rigid and inflexible. If I can at least catch myself doing it I can modify my behavior but when I don't realize it until after the fact it just looks like I have been being a bitch. I mean I CAN be quite the bitch but that is not always the issue. Sometimes I just get caught up in the web of rigidity. I do not like that. I do not like being around rigid people with broomsticks up their "woo hoos" so I don't like being this one with the broomstick "where the sun don't shine" if you know what I mean. At the time I am doing this my behavior seems not only logical but downright ESSENTIAL so modifying it can be a real opportunity for personal growth. How is THAT for reframing?

OCD is often a joke among the masses. I joke about it too but I am laughing at myself and that seems to be okay to me. I don't like being the butt of a joke though especially when it is mean-spirited, thoughtlessness is bad enough. It is a bitch to be caught up in obsessive and compulsive behaviors. It is what it is though and I just get through it one day at a time.

Anyway, if you see me obsessively doing math that makes no sense and has nothing to do with anything, pulling my hair, washing my hands or engaging in weird repetitive activities just realize that it will stop once I catch myself and redirect my energies. I am who I am just like other people with OCD are just their own special little somebodies. We do the best we can with what we have to get through any given situation. Isn't that the bottom line for us all?

Ciao Babes!
My home would never ever pass the white glove test. I am not in the least bit domesticated. You could be nice and say I am housework challenged or you could say I am a slob. Take your pick along that continuum. I just don't truly comprehend the whole cleaning, haus frau, housework thing. Yeah, I know things have to be done but I think in my heart of hearts I believe that some little fairy types should come around when we are away or sleeping...clap their little fairly hands to make everything clean and tidy. I feel gypped, gypped I say, that this is not reality.

I am so undomesticated that when I do get some cleaning done like clearing out the refrigerator, cleaning the bathroom or(heaven forbid)sweep and mop...my mom wills say, "Don't you feel virtuous!" when I tell her. My response is something like, "You have GOT to be kidding. I feel tired and like I have just lost two hours of my life that I will never get back." Yeah, house stuff is just not my thing.

Oh, and don't even TALK to me about making the bed. Really...don't! I will just be sleeping in it again later. I am NOT wasting time or energy to make the damn thing. That is the most ridiculous waste of time and energy I have ever encountered. Now I know that many, many people disagree with my position but as for me bed making is not going to happen. It just isn't. You know like hell will freeze over first.

Mom used to try to shame me into housework when I'd date someone I really liked. I'd tell her I thought I'd found love, she'd say "Are you willing to keep house for him?" I'd give her my fire starter look or roll my eyes depending on my mood at that moment and say, "Why the hell don't you ask me if he might be willing to keep the house clean for me?" Yeah, this has been a touch subject over the years.

My biggest challenge is clutter. I am the QUEEN of clutter. In fact, as I turn to my left and see the table to my side my immediate thought is, "My gawd I just cleared that off a month ago. Where the hell did all of that crap come from?" Notice the word "month" yeah, I am just not that into it and I accumulate stuff that overwhelms me so I stack it to the side of me. These stacks have been known to overwhelm me and my living space. Egads!

Meema Barbara, who WAS domesticated, used to try to inculcate me in the art of housework. She'd say things like "a place for everything and everything in its place" and "take care of something immediately so that you don't have to handle something twice." God bless her heart the woman tried.

At the age of 60 I am starting to get the not handling something twice thing and trust me I do my very best but the "everything in its place thing" well I am pretty much a complete failure. I have never lived anywhere with enough storage space AND if I put something important where I am sure that I will remember where it is...I can guarantee you that I am likely to never see it again. Car titles, insurance papers and birth certificates should never, and I mean NEVER, be entrusted to my care, just go ahead and wave goodbye to them. They will likely never be seen again. Sigh!

I DO have more stuff than I can say grace over but it isn't because I don't try to dispose of and prevent clutter. I don't buy a lot of stuff and when we moved a year and a half ago I threw away, gave away, gifted and otherwise disposed of many of my possessions. There are still some things that I wonder why the heck I moved them but then they are sent to the dumpster or Goodwill. I want them out of my house.

There are things that I have to have. Clothes for example, those are important. I haven't bought any clothes in about four years. I have plenty of clothes. I hate to shop. I think I have six pairs of shoes. I haven't purchased shoes in almost 10 years until last night. I found some flats on Amazon that I think will meet my current foot issues and shoe needs. If not I will sent them back. I have more bottles of daily medications than I ever thought I'd need. They overwhelm me as do medical supplies that I MUST have. Then there are important papers, you know important, things I need to deal with. Do you know how often I have to play phone tag? Why can't every business have email available so that issues can be addressed. I want to address the problem, dispose of the papers I don't want to deal with anyway and get on with my life. These things SWARM me. It makes me crazy!!!!

The only thing I will say about the kitchen is that I drive Steffie's personal care aide crazy in there. Now, I wash dishes, sweep, mop, cook and generally clean but due to physical limitations I keep a lot of things, certain pans, bowls and such on the counter, as well as, the bar in my kitchen. I cannot reach things if they are too high or too low. Cabinet space is limited even though it is probably more than I have ever had in my
adult life. Angie however wants to put everything up. I understand that but then cooking will be nearly impossible for me. So there will always be clutter on my counters.

Clutter I understand and try to prevent. I do not let junk mail or catalogs come into my home any longer. They go from the mail box straight into the recycling. They do not darken my door. I also get rid of stuff I do not need. I don't have the energy to deal with such things. So even though I still have some clutter there is a method to my madness and except for those damn papers I have to deal with I am pretty much doing okay with clutter.

Dust is something else. I hate dust. I don't know where it all comes from. I  get rid of it one day and it is back the next. Oh how I loathe dust.

I try to ignore dust but it will procreate right before your very eyes. It is the gift that just keeps giving.

In my new home I have worked so hard, so very, very hard to keep things clean. It might kill me, especially the DUST!!!!! I keep finding it in places that I never thought of before like on baseboards and window sills. At my other house there was furniture in front of all of the windows. I didn't see window sills for 30 years. No, I don't rearrange furniture and no, I almost never move furniture to clean under it. I told you...housework challenged.

All of these new places to try to keep clean are making me CRAZY! Good gracious, will it never end? The answer is "Hell no!!!!!"

Yesterday I was getting out of the shower. I have balance issues and was really wobbly yesterday. I just touched the shower curtain rod lightly to help with balance so I could step out of the shower. Guess what my nice, clean hand encountered! That is right DUST who the heck knew that you had to dust the top of the darned shower curtain rod. I know YOU probably did but that was WAY outside of my experience. OMG...I feel like I could clean, cook and tidy up 24/7 and still not be done with everything. There is a REASON I was a work-a-holic. It was to avoid dealing with the danged house and all of the "stuff" in it. Then after I became so very ill that I couldn't work I did good to scrape by with the most basic household duties. Now in my new domicile there is a LOT of light so I can actually SEE the dust and such that I never really saw before plus I am trying so very hard to just keep things clean. It may kill me. I want my obituary to list my few survivors and the words, "It killed her." That's it. Nothing more will need to be said. I shall die at the altar of semi-domesticity while dreaming of a life where clutter, dust, dirt and dog poop do  not exist. LOL!

I continue my struggle. Maybe some form of domesticity will possess me before the household "opportunities" do me in but I am not going to hold my breath. I will just swab the toliet and do another load of laundry. Maybe those wee little elven folk will show up later and make all of my troubles vanish into thin air or maybe I will win the Powerball and can afford a cleaning crew every week. Yeah, I want option number 2. That might be even better. Then I can buy all of the pickles that I want too. LOL!

So, my friends I will not only NEVER pass the white glove test. I just hope that dandelions don't take root in the dust behind my armoire. Really, I worry about such things.

If you are more domesticated than I am feel grateful that it is part of your being for it will make your life easier in the long run. I almost always wish the best for those with whom I share this wonderful planet, even if it is just the understanding of how to deal with dust, clutter and the force that creates more stuff to clean the moment you turn your back. May the force be with you!

Ciao babes!

An Ode To Pickle Juice #amwriting

Yeah, yeah, yeah...it's not really an ode...not even close it is just my crappy little blog post but I liked the title so there you go. LOL! Most of you know that I am more than a little weird...you know as in "out there weird" or "not the girl  you want to take home to meet mama" and it isn't because she's a little bit of a tart but because she has an aluminum foil beanie that she wears most of the time. I mean I have always been my own special little somebody.

One of the many facets of my extreme weirdness is that I like to drink pickle and olive juice. I like to drink them a LOT! This started when I was very young and at the age of 60 it is still somethng that I enjoy. When I was a kid my mom would let me drink pickle and olive juice when all of the goodies were gone. I could count on juice from black olives at every holiday. Mmm...hmm!!!!

My friends, it seems that with pickle juice, at least, I was a trendsetter. Who'd have thunk it? Little old me the pickle and olive juice guzzler.

It seems that athletes use pickle juice to alleviate cramps during and after exercise. Yeppers, that's right pickle juice for cramps. I learned about this totally by accident on Amazon. Pickle juice is sold in shots like the energy drinks and Best Maid pickles will even sell you a gallon jug of their pickle juice. Heck, why do people have to go buy pickle juice? Don't they have some in their refrigerators? If they don't they should. I mean goodness gracious, you can buy a whole tasty, tasty, tasty jar of pickles for what two shots would cost you. Then you'd have the pickles AND the juice. It would be a lot more that two shots worth too. This is madness...buying pickle juice without the pickles.

Now, not just any pickle juice will do. The best is from plain old dill pickles. Hey, that is even better. I am a connoisseur of pickles and pickle juice. Well, at least the less expensive varieties any hoo! I can get a GALLON of Kroger brand dill pickles for less than six bucks. That is a GALLON of some mighty tasty and crisp pickles for less than six bucks. My friends think of all of the shots of pickles you could get from that gallon of pickles plus some yummo pickles to boot.

So now you are in the know. Your weirdo compadre was a health and fitness trendsetter by drinking the very same pickle juice that in many of your families just got poured down the drain. Too bad I didn't make money off of my forward thinking ideas. LOL!

Asi I sit and write this I wonder how pickle juice would taste over ice with some hot peppers in it and a shot of vodka. Remember babes you read that idea here first. When the Manhatten bars are doing that just know that your crazy azz friend came up with the idea. Who do you think invented the Dirty Vodka Martini? Hey, it was Olive Juice Girl herself back in the 70s or 80s. Love those green olives...in fact, I might love them a little too much. Ask my friends Rosemary, Tricia and Katrina. Katrina's husband Mark has witnessed my love for the concoction too. It is a wonder
that any of them speak to me any longer.

Have a great day everyone! Buy some pickles and sample the juice. Who knows, it might just cure what ails you!

Ciao babes!

Time To Rise and Shine #amwriting

Well, HOLY COW I just found out that I have not written a post since November 18, 2016. I knew that things were out of kilter but gee golly Jiminy Cricket, I had no clue that I hadn't written much of anything in that long.

My life did turn upside down during that period of time and has pretty much stayed that way until now. At this point groovy guys and groovy gals I am starting to have a little bit of my brain fog burn off. Now being the total and complete optimist that I am the happy dance has commenced. It doesn't matter if within the next hour everything heads south because for right now. This very minute I can write and my mind is almost on the ball. LOL!

Over the past several months I have had many ideas of things to write AND I flesh them out in my head as I am cooking, cleaning, showering and etc. Well then the brain fog that plagues me kicks in about the time that I sit at the keyboard and I can't even remember the subject I had been so ready to write about. Yeah, it sucks big time. Even worse is that I can't think of a damn thing to write about to the point that even doing Facebook updates have been beyond challenging. Talk about an all time low. Bah humbug!

I have tried to find a way to be able to make notes about my thoughts so that maybe, just maybe, I could get them written up. I invested in a Kindle Fire. It was on sale cheap at Christmas time. The plan was to get an app where I could make notes as things entered my head. Well, for some reason the screen does not respond to my fingers when it comes to letters on the keyboard. Now I can listen to music, read and other fun things so it is not a total bust but it doesn't do what I want it to do. As an added note, when I got the Fire I was looking for a Palm Pilot to do the notes on. They don't make Palm Pilots any longer. I am so far behind the curve that I may never make it to wherever it is that I am trying to go LOL! Oh, and for my other technology challenged friends. I do have a notebook that I carry everywhere with me and there are notebooks all around the house but between arthritis, lupus, neuropathy even writing a short grocery list or signing a check can be a challenge. Also, I do not understand smartphones so that is not an option right now either. Trust me I have done a lot of brainstorming in an effort to work through these "opportunities" that life has sent my way.

So here I am writing and babbling about a whole lot of nothing BUT I #amwriting and that is the whole point to this exercise. My nimble fingers are flying along the keyboard and words are managing to escape from my brain through my fingertips to the monitor!!!!! YAY!!!! How exciting is that?

The old girl is back, well sort of, and she is at least yapping about things that have come to her mind. Just so you know, my little dog is still demanding, makes messes and such. Life is physically challenging as always but as my cousin Mark says, and I paraphrase,"Any day you wake up on this side of the grass is a good day." So there you go, I may have some things that slow me down but I am able to lie on the grass(allegorically speaking, of course)rather than having to look up and contemplate the root system of a variety of weeds and grasses. It truly is a wonderful life.

My mind works a lot of the time but the brain fog still shrouds things so I may spend most of my writing time being repetitive, silly or worse. We will see. In the meantime, good morning everyone! I hope you have a simply marvelous day.

Ciao babes!

The Post In Which I Whine..A LOT!!!!

My brain turned to mush in October. It hasn't recovered yet as I still struggle with immense fatigue and brain fog. I crapped out on #NaBlowWrimo and #NaNoWriMo. I keep telling myself that I have 12 days left and that I can crank out my novel. I have my notes and outline. My brain feels like perforated Jello. I struggle to post an update on Facebook. Words elude me.

My blogging is irregular at best. I bet I haven't written 20 posts in the past two years. I find that to be appalling. I need to at the very least write in my blog at LEAST once a week. I mean really I should be able to do that. I can only shake my head at myself. I need to get a grip now. Maybe I should scedule blog writing days on the calendar. That is an idea. I will do that. Remember you read it here first.

I find myself so frustrated about my writing. I have written web content for various websites since 1999. I have invested many hours in fine tuning my articles, essays and stories. I have always been so excited to see my writing on the web. Now, all but one website that I wrote for is gone...history...defunct. It is all gone. The one website that is still operating has removed my essay from it. I just found that out today. I think that I did some other pieces for that website but I don't even want to look now. I am feeling discouraged enough.

I experienced something similar when a venue for storytelling had its email hacked and lost all of the stories that had been submitted to it. I had several stories that had been accepted by this venue and they were gone. Oh yes, I did save my stories but you see my word processing program "crapped out" and I have lost several years worth of essays, short stories, articles and novels. Yes, I now know that value of saving things on a flash drive. I just have never done that before and failed to remember that computers and programs will fail you.

It is rather disheartening to lose so very much writing. It is as if it never existed and yet I poured my heart and soul into it. Now brain fog is stealing my ability to get my thoughts out of my head. Sometimes I want to cry but instead I do continue to craft stories in my head. I can still make them up. I just can't seem to get them out. I write notes about things that I want to write but then I lose all of the particulars when the time comes. It is an ongoing struggle.

So I find myself slogging through the mud to overcome inertia, a desire to just give up and the sludge that impacts my abiity to share my vision. It is an uphill battle and yet I continue because I must. You see that is why I write, I MUST, I do not have a choice. It is my life. It is what I do. It is me. Writing is me. It is that simple. So I continue to make notes and try to cobble together my thoughts in a way that makes some kind of sense. I don't always succeed but I do make the effort, well...at least part of the time. I can say that my brain is always working though. The stories are all fleshed out in my head. I will get them out. I am confident of that and then I will be satisfied. No one else has to ever see them really. I just have to "birth" the tales in my head. It is an ongoing process.


#NaBloWriMo...You're Doing It Wrong...

On the "I Can Has Cheezburger" memes there is an ongoing comment about "You're Doing It Wrong" about different things where someone or some critter is doing something "bass ackward" but I can't remember how they spell it...if you are familiar with the website you know that things are selcom spelled correctly. Anyway, #NaBloWriMo, I am doing it wrong because I keep missing days of blogging BUT that doesn't stop me from getting right back to LiveJournal and starting all over again.

My day started off GREAT!!! I got to spend time over breakfast with my cousin Mark. I haven't seen him in a while and it was great to visit with him. Mark and I were close as kids. He, his brother, my sister and I were stairsteps. When we got to visit LR we were always glad to see them and then when we moved back we loved getting to spend time with them.

Mark was able to hold his own in conversation with me. Not just anyone can. He didn't have to tell me to hush so that he could talk once. Considering the fact that I was operating on very little sleep and lots of caffeine the man deserves a gold medal. We also found out that we have way more in common that we even knew. That was so very cool. I think that this was the first time we had talked just the two of us in more than 40 years. It was AWESOME. I am so glad he made time to see me while he was in Little Rock.

As we visited a friend of mine named Mark also was preparing to compete in the Ironman World Championship Race in Kona. I am in AWE of someone being able to qualify for the championship much less someone I know from high school. I mean WOW!!! I am so excited for him. I just checked the website and he is still running from what I can tell. My heart is so with him. He is a great guy. I am so happy that his hardwork has paid off. Just amazing!

My cousin Mark(referenced above)has a daughter who is a tri-athlete. She amazes me. The woman is an awesome athlete. She has been in races that you have to qualify to be in. I am impressed. She is one determined young woman. Her sister has done races as well. She is not a tri-athlete but is still an impressive young woman. Mark(my cousin)started running several years ago. He has done several half marathons and his wife Sherry has walked in the races. I applaud them all.

From the moment I first heard about triathlons many years ago I wanted to be a tri-athlete. Now mind you I do not have an athletic bone in my body but I still had the desire. I don't think I had it hard enough. I have done a lot of reading about running and training but managing to actually do it has eluded me and I have tried the couch to 3K program more than once. I am still not deterred. I told my cousin that today. He looked at me like I was delusional. I have to use a walker to get around. I see that as an opportunity to think even more outside the box to get to wear I am going. Oh, I am also morbidly obese. I am still not giving up my dream. I may not make a triathlon but I will make a race of some kind. It will happen. I am still alive and I believe that I can do this. It will happen.

I continue to write with the same fierce abandon. Because of brain fog and pain issues I may only be able to write a little at a time but I keep writing. I may not be anywhere near running or even walking in a 3K but I keep putting one foot in front of the other and trying to figure it all out. I am not easily deterred. I will do what I can do as I can do it. Besides, I don't have a couch any longer so I cannot officially be a couch potato. I am one step ahead of the game.

I will keep watching to see how my friend Mark is doing in the championship race. I am sending energy to him. I hope that when he finishes that he enjoys his accomplishment. He will have completed and Ironman WORLD Championship. That is awesome!

Ciao babes!

#NaBloWriMo...I Am Late...GASP...

I might have missed yesterday too. Life is crazy and complicated. ARGH! I don't really have anything of interest going on. Well, I get to see my cousin Mark Saturday. That is excting. I am in love. That is pretty awesome because he loves me too. In fact, he loves me a lot. So things are happening but they seem to be everyday things. Maybe I just don't feel inspired. I should be but I am not. That is crazy.

I have a friend going through a very bad time. In fact, I am not sure he isn't going to harm himself tonight. I have done what I can. Once he signed off of Facebook I didn't have any way to contact him. I am worried about him. Yeah, there are things going on but they are so busy and intense that I just get overwhelmed as I soldier through it all.

I deal with many things day in and day out. I keep them in. I don't use my blog to puke my problems out into the world the way I have seen some do. I had a friend once who scared me to death with her blog and she just blew me off saying that a blog was her way of being dramatic. I was like WTF! I don't believe in messing with people's emotions. You know what I mean.

I am going to sign off for now. My mind is racing. I need to slow it down.

Ciao Babes!
I don't know where things started going to hell in a handbasket but somewhere in September life started to win a lot of little battles. Now on Septemeber 5th I had a major victory where love and happiness are concerned so overall September was a WIN...take THAT life! However, somewhere myNeuropathy, Fibromyalgia and Lupus flared up. Now the pain with these two is bad enough BUT the brain fog and exhaustion are what are really kicking my butt HARD!

I am doing everything I know to do to try to keep ahead of this oncoming train but I just can't seem to run fast enough. That doesn't mean that I have stopped running though. I just keep the race going...one step at a time.

I had hoped to leave all of this nonsense behind in September but NOOOO...it is still here in October. I am so not a happy camper about that either. UGH! I hope to shake it off in October so that November is brain fog and exhaustion free. Notice I didn't say pain free because as I learned from Meatloaf, "...two out of three ain't bad." So those are the two I am chosing. I can live with pain. I have been living with it for many, many years...as in more than 40 so this isn't my first rodeo.

I #neveryield although my beloved piggies have been known to do so. I #nevergiveup although I have been known to take a break or two. I am strong, gutsy and freakin' determined. I #amwriting even if it is bad writing. I am pounding out the words. I just need to build up to about 2K a day which is about 4 times what I have been doing. That means I need to GET ON THE STICK!

You see life is just winning some battles but never fear, I am winning the friggin' war! You can bet the ranch on that one.

I need to crank up the volume on my music and my life. It will all work out but for right now, dang I am worn to a nub.

Ciao babes!

Most of you know that I am a "live and let live" kind of a gal but as the election draws near I feel the need to draw a line in the sand. I personally do not care who you vote for in the Presidential election. I just_do_not_care!

Now this does not mean that I don't care who gets elected. I care very much but I have already decided how I am going to vote as have you. I am not going to change your mind and you are not going to change mine so let's declare a truce. Let's stop the divisive political crap. Okay, let's just stop it. We all still have to live together and be a network of friends from November 9th on so let us form a circle, hold hands and start singing "Kumbaya" now. Why should we wait? We are all friends. Many of us are related. Whatever happens on November 8th is going to happen! It depends on voter turnout and no bashing of candidates or each other is going to make it better. We can start the healing NOW so that as the nation moves forward from Election Day we will already be working toward a common goal, to make this the best USA that is can be for all of its citizens and everyone who lives here. Let us show the world that the US is not about division but rather about understanding, finding common ground and building on it. That is who we are. Let's act like it. Okay!

If you cannot do this for the good of the country, your friends, family, community and psyche then please do it for me when you are around me. Okay. If you are not going to spare anyone else please spare me. I don't want to be immersed in a shit storm that doesn't need to happen. We can all be civilized. We can have opinions. We can vote. We can be a strong country. We can do this without acting like are trolls living under a bridge. We are better than that. We have manners. Our mamas taught us respect. Let's act like we remember that. Please.

I look forward to our finding common ground, building bridges and singing "Kumbaya." I have the stuff to make S'mores. Who is bringing the hot dogs and even more importantly who is bringing the beer?

Ciao Babes!


Sesame Street Ninja

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