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I try to look at challenges/obstacles as opportunities to learn new things. I am a ridiculous optimist even those sometimes I can sound like a pissy pessimist I assure you that my glass is more than half full 99% of the time.

I can't remember if I wrote about the NCS/EMG studies about 10 days ago but those are nerve conduction studies and tests that detect abnormal muscle activity due to problems related to issues with one's nerves. I already knew that I had neuropathy, boy did I ever know it, but I found out just how "bad" it is and I found out that I have nerve damage in my spine. That is not a real surprise either. These tests were done because instead of getting better after I hurt my back in late May I started getting much worse. That was not a good sign.

Well, today I had my doctor appointment for my follow up to the tests and well, the bad news(not totally unexpected)is that nothing can be done to make anything better. That's right this severe level of pain is the new "normal" for me. I have cried several times today. Sometimes opportunities don't always feel like opportunities. You know what I mean. I have felt like this condition was the "new normal" and have prepared myself for same but hearing it stated as fact was a little difficult on my psyche.

My doctor has increased my gabapentin to see if that will help to prevent breakthrough neuropathy pain. That would be a big plus. My back pain will still be some kind of hellacious but I will adapt. I always do. Life throws me curve balls and after a while I can start knocking them out of the park again. It will take time but I will muddle through one day at a time.

I am not a candidate for steroid injections because of my diabetes. So the "best fix" for this situation is not an option for me. I am not a "pain pill" kind of a gal so that is not in the stars either. If you hear me refer to "pain pills" it is either my gabapentin which helps with nerve pain or Tylenol. I may take a hydrocodone on the worst of days but those are few and far between.

You can bet that I will be looking up resources to see if I can find some options to help with this situation. I am certainly not looking for miracle cures. I truly believe in miracles but I know snake oil when I see it too.

I am feisty and hard headed. I will figure out something. Today was just hard for me though. Tomorrow will be better.



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