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AugWriSo...mothers and Jedi mind tricks...

As I mentioned in my blog yesterday I am reading a memoir for the umpteenth time. In the story, the lead character's mom is a therapist. As the character is discussing trying to talk to her mother about something she compares her mom to her own therapist and accuses her mom of using "Jedi mind tricks" as if therapists are the only people around who use "Jedi mind tricks." Obviously the author of this memoir has not met many mothers in this world or if she has it has escaped her attention that most mothers are adept at "Jedi mind tricks." I know for a fact that my mother probably taught the Jedi Masters all of the "mind tricks" that they later used for various purposes. BTW, never, EVER try to use a "Jedi mind trick" on MY mother because if you even attempt to make her think that "these are not the droids you are looking for" you will be so busted that your Rebel Alliance will not stand a snowflake's chance in hell. I kid you not!

I don't think I know many people whose mother's do not know "Jedi mind tricks." Heck, I may do an informal survey on Facebook and Twitter just to get some input from my peeps. My son pulled the wool over my eyes a time or two but there were other times that he didn't know HOW he got busted just that his ass was grass, if you know what I mean.

Mothers have this sixth sense that cues them in on the fact that their children are up to something. For some mothers this "spidey sense" is a way to "nip it in the bud" and for other mothers it is a way to score a fifth of Jack Daniels or a way to get the leaves raked without having to pay a certain teenager to do that little chore. Never, ever underestimate the power of a mother. You might think she is occupied with the baby, her job, problems with the car's steering belt but the minute you think she is not looking is the minute you are on the slippery slope to getting into ten kinds of trouble. Trust me, I am an expert at sliding face first down that slippery slope. It is not a pleasant ride.

BTW, if your mother doesn't figure out your nefarious deeds on her own, trust me there are whole armies just waiting to narc you out...other mothers, teachers, the principal, your bus driver, another kid, your baby sitter, don't forget your siblings especially younger siblings they LIVE to see you in dutch with your mom and they are sneaky little sh*ts too! Even if you are an adult you are not safe from your mom's "Jedi mind tricks" and the battalions who are waiting to shoot you down. For example, a few months ago I had an expensive problem with my air conditioner. I HAVE an HVAC credit card that SHOULD have covered the repair but for some reason the a/c company was having issues with the card THAT I GOT THROUGH THEM and had me apply for another HVAC card. Well, for some reason this was denied which baffled the heck out of me because I had several thousand dollars credit available on my HVAC credit card and when I called the credit card company they told me that the issue was on the end of the a/c company. Well, I had to come up with over $600 in a matter of minutes because of the SNAFU at the a/c company but I was going to be darned if I was going to borrow the money from my mom as she already was having some financial concerns anyway.

Well, about 2 or so weeks after the a/c repair my "Jedi Master" mother calls me to ask me if I have had trouble with my a/c recently. After I almost dropped my teeth(and I was glad we were on the phone) I asked her why she was inquiring about such a thing. Well, it seems that some nimrod at the a/c company sent the paper I had to sign about the credit application TO MY MOTHER!!!!! Now, it had my name on it but she didn't notice that, she just saw "Urgent" and "Important" on the envelope so she opened it. (We have the same last name...it isn't unusual to get each other's mail and open it by mistake due to not noticing that the first name is not our own.) Well, she got a little distressed about the interest charge that was shown on the application AND it made it look like I had not already paid for the repair on the a/c.

This situation proves my point that there are minions in this world who work for our mothers and try to give us grief. First off, I filled out the credit application with MY address on it. My mother is a customer of the same company too but her name and address were nowhere on the credit application. Also, I had already paid for the repair because if I had not paid for it the repair would not have been made and I would have been living in one hotter than all get out house. If I had wanted my mother who already had more than enough on her plate to know that I had this problem I would have told her about it. However, someone royally screwed up at the a/c company by sending the credit application to the wrong person while making it look like I still owed more than $600 so before my mother calls me she is trying to figure out how to get the $600 to pay for the repair.

After I found out how she learned about the problem I had to assure her that the a/c was fixed and that it was already paid for. Of course, throughout the conversation she kept using her "Jedi mind tricks" to make sure that I wasn't just saying that to keep her from worrying about us being without a/c. Just so you know, Steph and I both have asthma among other respiratory conditions that are difficult to deal with when one does not have a/c especially since the windows to our house do not open and we can't leave the doors open. This is why mom was wanting to be darn sure about the a/c being fixed and having been paid for already. She is a sweetie even if she does use "Jedi mind tricks" on me still at the age of 56.

As I have stated before...there are others who will conspire to drag your mother into your business or let her know about your business. So if your mom isn't figuring out what you are up to on her own there are people in the shadows just waiting to fill her in on your activities. It is a rigged system.

Watch out for those "Jedi mind tricks!"



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