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SeptWriSo...my mama and more...

I discovered that when I looked at the August calendar that I did not write nearly as many blogs as I thought I had. I knew I had missed some days but did not realize the huge blocks of days that I had failed to write. I will try to do better in September. I really need to get my word count up, up, up before November.

Now it is time to write some about my mama. I am rather tired and have brain fog so I don't know how much I will get written but I shall at least get started.

My mom is a pistol...now she has some of the traits of all mothers...she can be a little bossy, she can get all up in your business and she is the QUEEN of the "quarter lectures" but at the same time she loves me(and my siblings) with a passion that is hard to match. She is sweet, loving, caring, warm, extroverted and lives life out loud. There truly is no one else quite like her. It doesn't matter that I am 56 years old, if there is something wrong or seriously troubling I want to talk to my mama. I can tell you for sure that if she passes before I do I will miss her more than words can ever convey. My mom and I have been to hell and back together. I was very, very ill as a child and she was there...like a rock making sure that I got the medical care that I needed. During my teenage years I don't know how we kept from smothering each other as we slept. I was a rebel to the "nth degree" and my mother wanted a docile school girl much like I had been when I was younger. It is interesting, my mother reared me to never EVER allow anyone to step on me but she did not like it when I pushed back when I felt like SHE was stepping on me. I was the child my mother reared me to be questioning authority, marching to my own drum and defying anyone who tried to keep me from following my own path. The only problem was that mom only wanted me to do such things with the rest of the world not she and daddy. It was a difficult time but somehow we survived it.

Young adulthood was a trial too for many of the same reasons but I also had a child. My mother loved this grandchild(her first) with an extreme passion. My own grandmother, Meema Barbara, said she had never seen someone so silly over a child and let me tell you that my Meema Barbara was smooth eat up with me, so that gives you an idea of how my mother was with my son. This resulted in much friction between my mother and I because she wanted me to parent my son a certain way and I wanted to parent him in my own way. At times things got a bit messy but in the end it all worked out. I never did parent my son the way my mother would have but mom got over it(sort of) and we all survived the situation.

My mom is funny. She tells great stories and totally enjoys life. She and my daddy run a flea market on Saturdays only but my mom can get enough stories out of one Saturday to last until well past the next Saturday. She has been running the flea market for more than 17 years now. There are still lots of stories that I haven't heard but eventually I will hear most of them.

My mom NEVER met a stranger. She can talk to anyone about anything, well except maybe sex, but beyond that it is all fair game. She is amazing. Mom is a good listener as well. People will tell her stories and secrets that nobody else knows. They will tell her things that happened decades ago. It is like she is a Mother Confessor. Mom always listens and the person talking always knows that they have been heard.

When I was a kid living in the Houston suburbs my friends always gathered at my house to play because my mom wasn't picky about having everyone over. I could get her to come show everyone how she could stand on her head on a regular basis. On hot days she always had something for us to drink. Often it was Kool-Aid but when money was tight it was cold water. Mom would keep pitchers of water in the fridge so that there was always cold water ready for everyone to drink. Despite the fact the we probably had less money than anyone else in the neighborhood(due to my medical bills) on occasion mom would scrape together pennies, nickles and dimes to buy everyone visiting that day something from the ice cream truck. Now, we couldn't get the expensive things, you know, like the lime bullet that cost a dime but the things that cost a nickle or seven cents were fair game. NOBODY else's parents EVER bought us anything from the ice cream truck and all of the other parents would send us home if we wanted a drink UNLESS they were specifically babysitting some of us. My mom was one of a kind. She took care of the neighborhood kids like she did her own.

I mentioned being sick when I was little. I had kidney and bladder trouble. In fact, my kidneys stopped once and I was on a waiting list for dialysis as well as being prepared for a possible kidney transplant. I don't remember a lot of what happened to me because I was so young but I remember things hurting as my urethra was dilated and that had to happen fairly often so that I wouldn't get another UTI. One time when I was about four the doctor was getting ready to dilate me, and this was in the days before they could numb the urethra before dilation, the pain was really, really bad and I had tears in my eyes. My mom put her sunglasses on me so I didn't have to worry about anyone seeing my tears and the held my hand as the doctor did his job. I can still see her standing there with love beaming from her face as she held my hand and reassured me that everything would be okay and that the doctor would be through soon. My mom has been there for me from my early childhood health issues right through my hysterectomy at age 31. Bless her heart, I am such a pill when I come out from under anesthetic. It does not bring out the best part of my personality and yet mom is there in case I need her providing support and encouragement along the way.

Now my hysterectomy was the last surgery that I had, thank goodness, as I don't want to have any more but even a year ago as I was going to the ENT clinic at the Medical Center for an evaluation related to some really bad vertigo that I had experienced for more than six months(I am never in any big hurry to deal with more doctors) mom came to a medical appointment with me during which one of the things I learned was that I have hearing loss especially for sounds that have a lower register. We both laughed about the hearing loss because I come from a family that is hard of hearing, one of our favorite words is "Huh!" Having a hearing loss was no big surprise. I also told mom that the audiologist(I think that's what she was) had said we'd have to see what the doctor wanted to do about any kind of hearing aids. Again we just laughed because there is no way on God's green earth that I can afford hearing aids and we both know it. We discussed the fact that it didn't matter WHAT the doctor wanted that I wouldn't be getting hearing aids I would just have to keep saying, "Huh" a lot. I will add that fortunately it turned out that the doctor was more interested in how the hearing loss affected my balance issues and not in hearing aids. The only prescription I ended up with was for a fluid pill that costs me about $3 a month. Now THAT I can afford.

There are so many other things I could write about my mom from her turkey hat, to her singing "On Top of Old Smokey" with my Aunt Nancy and Meema Barbara, to her sacrificing to buy me a bicycle to build up my back muscles for a possible kidney transplant, to her trying to help me say that I really didn't want to get married to my first husband and much, much more. I can't forget how she found a way to get me birthday presents when my daddy was off work due to a back injury back in the days before Workman's Comp and she was having to deal with all of my medical bills.

I have been there for my mother just like she has been there for me. We have a bond that is incredibly tight. It doesn't matter who goes first, the other will have a hole in their soul that will never be repaired. There may be a patch but the empty space will remain. We are just that close.

In closing for now, my greatest wish is that I could find a way to help my mother really heal from losing her father. She loved him with all of her heart and soul. When she lost him in 1961 she lost a big part of her that has never truly been "plastered over." I have witnessed pain in my life, deep gut wrenching pain but I have never ever seen pain like my mother has from losing her father. I don't think she will truly find peace until she passes away herself and joins him on the other side.

I will write more about mom another time. There is so much to tell. Fifty six years worth and counting. She is still sassy and full of moxie. There is no one like her. My mother is truly and I mean totally an original.



( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 2nd, 2013 11:29 am (UTC)
Hi Ardee Ann,

I think your 'being there' will help her heal, if not completely close the wound, it will at least give her comfort.

Big hugs to both you and your Mom.
Sep. 2nd, 2013 05:36 pm (UTC)
Thank you Eden. I certainly do my level best to "be there" for my mom. I love her so much.


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )


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