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Not much to say. I know I am really late I went to bed early due to feeling ill, well, more like sick as a dog. I am having GI distress. Hopefully Pepto-Bismol will clear it up.

I can't even report on the dog. I didn't see that much of her. Am I boring or what?

November 6 would have been my 37th wedding anniversary. What was I thinking about getting married at age 19? Did I have a screw loose or what? I wanted to love and be loved. Steve was smart and I thought he would be a good father. As it turned out neither of us was ready for any of these things, although Steve was book smart. That did not change. The marriage just wasn't meant to be, we did not know how to be a married couple. We didn't know how to make it work, especially after my severe postpartum depression hit. Steve was clueless about dealing with it as was I. I was a lost soul drowning in a sea of blackness trying to parent a child. I didn't know how to be a mother. I didn't know how to be a wife and I didn't know how I was going to survive this suffocating darkness that had me trapped. The newer anti-depressants and mood stabilizers would have been absolute lifesavers for me back then. They might have allowed our marriage to survive. I don't know for sure but I know that they would have helped me to be a better wife and mother in those last few years. Those were dark times.

This is what I know today. Not much is it.

Ciao!

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ardeeeichelmann
ardeeeichelmann

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