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Tonight I have figured out why my mind goes blank when I sit down at the computer monitor. The same thing used to happen with pencil and paper. I am an oral tradition story teller and I actually come from a long line of same. I have hundreds, maybe even thousands of stories to tell. I can tell of things that I have seen and experienced and I can make up new stories as I go along but getting it written is almost impossible. I think if I could dictate my stories and have someone type them I would be able to get my STUFF out there.

Almost every day I think of things to write about even just for the blog much less all of the fictional stories that dance through my head but when it comes time to put down the written word I am lost in the fog that envelopes my  mind and yet, if I sit and talk I can tell stories of all kinds for hours on end. It almost drives Steffie crazy.

I can't tell you all of the wonderful storytellers I grew up around. The oral tradition is part of who I am. I love/loved listening to the tales and wish that some of those storytellers were still around to tell their tales again.

My mother used to genealogy research. She asked relatives about family history but they didn't have much to allow UNTIL we were all together for a family gathering and the stories started to flow. There was so much information given out that we couldn't keep up with it all. It was amazing and fascinating that none of these older relatives could think of a THING to tell about family history until we got them together and they started talking. I wonder if this is a genetic trait.

Now there are some things that I can write. I can whip out a research paper that will make professors gasp in amazement and read parts of them to the class. The same for essays on tests. I can write social histories and capture subtle nuances in the stories told by the clients. I can write court reports and interviews that had me at the top of my field. I can write administrative memos, papers and policy for manuals that other agencies have asked to use. In writing this things I may have a grammar error or two and the punctuation errors would bring tears to an English teachers eyes but I have mad writing skills that have been untapped for years. Oh, those research papers...they were written in all night sessions the day before they were due. They were my first written draft. Now back then you could correct errors in pen on your typed papers. I know that the use of computers has made that practice unacceptable and I would probably get counted off now for such things but back in the day my first draft of a detailed and footnoted research paper, sometimes up to 50 pages was considered to be of exceptional quality. I did my research, I studied it carefully and then the night before I typed like a made woman. One draft and I was "good to go."

This is why I don't understand what blocks me from even writing in my blog some nights. Is it that there is no pressure, no time limit, no grade hovering over my heard to push those words out of my head and through my fingers. The same for all of the other writing I used to do. The writing for work was actually mostly dictated. I put other staff to shame with the work I could put out. When I say that I was a legend in my field I am not kidding. If I had to hand write something it sucked but give me a dictaphone and I was all over it and back again. It was oral. I could get the words out. I could make things happen. I wasn't lost staring at a blank page wondering where to start.

Now this has not always been such a problem. I could write answers for timed essay tests. I could type up those research papers. There was a time that I could get the words out like I contemplated before...I wonder if it was the time issue. There were limits...things had to be done within certain timeframes. There was stress to produce and produce I did.

I am a story teller. I do it well. I need to figure out how to tell the stories on the computer screen so that I can share them with others. I have lived an amazing life. I could write personal essays till the cows come in even if I never wrote a word of fiction. I have to figure it out. I guess that is the project and the problem...get the words out of my brain and through my fingers. Another barrier is that I think of stories while I am doing something else and they get lost before I get to my computer. The brain fog sucks them up. It is a conundrum. I need to figure it all out.



Nov. 21st, 2013 05:20 am (UTC)
I have a cat nestled in one arm so I am typing with the other. I think you should record your stories.

http://vocaroo.com/ <-- online voice recording


I have the software that will help me transcribe the voice recording from NCH. I can type some when my arm recovers from me exercising it to smithereens. But if dictating works, that's what you should do. Not all writers put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard. Some of them have dictated their work. I think there was even a writer who could tell his assistant to go back and fix something and he even knew where it was. Amazing.

Just a thought. <3
Nov. 21st, 2013 06:42 am (UTC)
Ah Meekers, helping you with your writing. What a good cat!

I have thought about getting voice recognition software in the past but have been hesitant to spend the money. Maybe after playing with vocaroo.com I will revisit that idea. It has been 15 years now since I dictated my thought in clear thoughts rather than just rambling along telling a story so it would be a "re-learning" experienced. Learning to dictate in the first place was quite a chore.

That is sweet of you to offer to transcribe my work but I could not impose and at this point we don't even know that I can dictate a story. I didn't even realize that this was an issue until the night I wrote this post. I should have realized it. I could always tell my teacher answers to my homework and could rattle off reports but had trouble getting them written. I knew it wasn't all just my issues with handwriting. I knew there was something else going on there. The problem is that while I am almost completely tied at being auditory and visual in my learning style visual slightly edges out the auditory part and kinescetic edges both of them out. So the act of "doing" is an important key for me. BTW, I am within 5 points or less on each of these. None are dominant for me. It has made for an interesting life.

Ah, let me thank you again and quit babbling. I hope your arm is better soon. How did you exercise it to smitereens anyway? Sounds painful.


Nov. 29th, 2013 04:59 pm (UTC)
I exercised my arm to smithereens. I was using the step while I was carrying 1.5 lb. hand weights and I was thinking about my triceps which aren't as developed as my biceps. I was also thinking about Genevieve's wedding and how I really want to be in shape on the off-chance that I can show up. So I was following all the motions on the DVD, except I was a little overenthusiastic, so when I did tricep pushdowns I must have done them too hard. I've done them before with no problem, though.

I slept funny that night and when I woke up my muscles were all tense and sore, probably from stress. My left shoulder isn't happy either. Not to mention that slicing yams yesterday made it hurt all over again. It will be three weeks soon, so I'm going to bring it up with Dr. Cute-But-Married when I see him on the 6th. I don't think he'll be able to do anything about it, but it's something to note on the ever-expanding chart.

Nov. 29th, 2013 09:29 pm (UTC)
It will be good to bring up to Dr. Cute-But-Married. I also suggest generic Aspercreme. I know your budget is TIGHT but I can get the generic for $3 something here in Little Rock. Hopefully you can get it that cheap too. It isn't scented and works great.

Be careful when you work out or chop yams!


Nov. 29th, 2013 05:00 pm (UTC)
That anonymous comment was me, btw.

Unless you didn't get it, in which case it wasn't me. Or something. I'm not sure what LJ is up to, but I did write a bunch.

Edited at 2013-11-29 05:02 pm (UTC)
Nov. 29th, 2013 09:31 pm (UTC)
I did get the anonymous comment, didn't notice it was anonymous because I recognized the situation being discussed.




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