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Dreaming...

Interesting that the writing prompt for the day is dreaming...my dreams have been sad and weird the past few days. Sunday I dreamed about my maternal grandmother who died 29 years ago this month. I helped to take care of her in her last illness and that is what my dream was about, caring for her and being there for her. My grandmother gave me so much in my life and I gave her what I could in those last few weeks. Some days I was a better caretaker than other days. I loved her very much and still miss her. It was odd to dream of her as being ill because she was ill so seldom and her last illness was so brief. There is a lesson in that dream for me, I just have to cipher it out.

Today I dreamed of conflict and pain. I don't want to go into the details but it involved interpersonal relationships at points that were ugly and downright nasty. I still feel very "out of kilter" from these dreams. I want my subconscious to only remember good things, happy things and to leave ugliness in the past.

I do find that my writing involves a lot of conflict, anger and violence. I think that this is how my subconscious tries to exorcise old garbage that I have stored away in the back of my mind so that I can let it go. It is probably a good thing that I did not act on the old impulses and suppressed them but I also think that it is a good thing to write about them and let them go. I don't know who I would have like to bash in the head with a baseball bat but they are lucky I didn't do it, so am I...I do not look good in jailhouse orange.

Dreaming, writing and exorcising the subconscious...these are all tools to be used wisely.

Ciao,

Ardee-ann

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