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Life is just interesting...

So many things have crossed my mind that I want to write about an now not a darned one of them wants to come to the forefront. That annoys me to no end.(Imagine a sticky out tongue emoticon. I hate that Live Journal does not have emoticons. I have an emoticon addiction.)

I will say that a couple of things have come to the forefront for me in the past few days. It started with a scary picture of clowns on Facebook. Now, I don't think that all clowns are scary like some people do but these clowns were some kind of scary. Really, the stuff that "frightmares" are made of. Then I saw a picture of Pennywise. This kept a rusty cog in my brain churning ever so slowly. Today a friend posted photos of abandoned barns. I totally loved abandoned barns and old abandoned buildings out in the country. I find them fascinating. I believe that they hold amazing stories and dark, dark secrets. The former excites me, the latter both inspires and repels me. This is when I started understanding what was going on in my head. I have many deeply hidden stories of horror and dark fantasy tucked away in my psyche concealed as much as possible. I do not read horror stories and I do not watch scary movies. Well, I watched the old Universal monster movies, some old time 50s horror movies, Alfred Hitchcock horror/suspense movies and a very few of the early horror type movies of the 70s and 80s but when the slasher genre, possessed and/or satanic tinged movies started it was pretty much all over for me because I have such a vivid imagination that horror stories invaded my mind at a very early age and terrified me. I have worked hard to block them because they have been so frightening. The past 72 hours have alerted me that despite the fact I have seen enough real life horror in my life that these words, vignettes and tales are swirling around waiting to be released. Until they are I will not find peace. Then later today I was advised that I had won a book from someone who writes seriously dark fiction. I had tried to read some of it because in the past few years I have been trying to come to grips with this compelling feeling about the cryptic and shadowy images that I have had over time, but his work was a little too intense for me to stay with so I kept putting it aside. I knew that winning this book was another message. After sending the author J.Thorn, by the way, my snail mail address I went and read his Amazon author page. I was taken aback about how much we have in common. Then I went to his website and found out that he has a group of readers that have an early peek at his writing and the creative process. I knew that I wanted to be part of this group. It was all like things were coming together and yet they terrify me in one way. We will have to see what happens. I have a feeling that I am about to embark on a journey that goes deep within me. Will what I unearth ever end up in my writing? I do not know but what I do know is that I am going to explore my dark side and see what happens next. I just find it all interesting. I don't know why this is coming up now but I am going to try to ferret out the answers.



White Trash Foot

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September 2018


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