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The only things notable about October before 1974 would be hunting season, football season, the World Series and Trick or Treat, our informal name for Halloween. I am sure that some other things of note happened in other Octobers past but I don't really remember them.  However, a few Octobers stand out in my mind.

In October 1974, I fell crazy in love as only a 17 year old girl can do. I had known Steve, my first husband before October 1974 but on a Friday night that fateful October I fell hard for him. As I was just telling Stephanie we had some wonderful times when we first started dating and early in our marriage. It is too bad that we weren't able to hold onto the good and not get bulldozed by the bad. We had a beautiful son and I think that he would have benefitted if he could have been brought up by the two of us together in a happy, loving secure home. It didn't work out that way and in many ways the price was enormous.

In October 1984, I found out that I had lupus. At the time I was the single parent of a not quite seven year old son. In the only time that I ever "bargained" with God, I asked him to please let me live long enough to get my son to age 18. I didn't ask for anything more and I have never tried to "bargain" with God again. I know that a lot of people do "bargain" with God regularly but I just don't feel right about it. I did it that once out of total desparation and for whatever reason I did live until my son was 18. In fact, he is now almost 37. I feel like I got very lucky.

That same October my doctor also told me I had a brain tumor. Talk about a double whammy, lupus AND a brain tumor. I didn't do any "bargaining" with God then. I had already laid all of my cards on the table so I just hoped for the best. It turned out to not be a tumor. I just have a cyst in my brain and Empty Sella Syndrome. Neither one required treatment. I have just lived with both of them all of this time. No big deal. Hey, it wasn't cancer. Life was good.

In October 1994 my father had a serious cerebral hemmorage. We were told he would not survive the night. We got very lucky. He not only survived the night but we still have him here with us today. There were no bad long term effects. The doctors never found out what caused the brain hemmorage. I just hope we never go through that again. We were so lucky that God decided he wasn't ready for daddy yet. We still celebrate how lucky we were.

During that same month, right after I found out that Daddy was going to be okay I found out that my best friend of 23 years had cervical cancer. She had an extremely aggressive form of the disease. Rita wasn't as lucky as daddy was. She died 3 years later at the age of 40. I felt like my heart had been ripped out but I was lucky enough to be right there with her as her beautiful spirit left this world to go home. Rita was the best friend a woman could have. We had been best friends for 26 years and had reared our children together. It was a great ride.

In October 2012, we lost Stephanie's mom. It hurt to lose her but at the same time Altzeimer's Disease had stolen her from us already. In many ways it was a blessing for her to go home and be with friends and family who had preceded her on the trip.

In October 2014, I was told that I did have a tumor on my spine and that it was probably malignant. Well guess what, I seem to be too mean for cancer to mess with(knock on wood). I do have a tumor but it is not malignant. Of course, we have to hope that the MRI is wrong and that the CT is correct. Now, the fact that I do not have cancer makes me want to dance. The fact that I am in continued excruciating pain due to this tumor and an issue with a bulging disk makes the dancing part a little difficult. It seems however that despite the fact that I do have these issues that the doctors say that there isn't anything that they can do for me. Oh happy day! I get to live with the pain and consider it my new normal. I could try going to another doctor for a second opinion but really. There are very few options for either of my conditions so I am not going to waste the time, energy or money. I will just get used to the new normal and celebrate the fact that my tumor is not malignant. It could be a hell of a lot worse. Oh, by the way...even if the tumor had been malignant it is not the kind that will kill you. It just needs to be "dealt" with. So, if I had of been the owner of a malignant tumor at least it would have been the kind to have, right? Of course, right!



( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 12th, 2014 04:21 pm (UTC)
Ardee, when I got to October 2014 I just about fell over. I didn't, but I started swearing before I got past the first sentence. I will not tell you what I said because it involved a heavenly figure you probably wouldn't want to hear paired with swear words. I will say there was a sidecar involved, however.

When I made it past the first sentence, I was very glad to hear that you're too mean for cancer to mess with. (I'll never tell cancer the truth, honest!)

Why the heck can't the doctors do anything? They'd do something if the tumor was malignant, why not if it'll relieve some of your pain?

(Can I smack 'em upside the head now? Pleeeez?)

How would they deal with something malignant, btw?

I really do wish you could take your CT and MRI pictures for a second opinion... (Did your governor not opt for Obamacare?)

Mer <3
Oct. 12th, 2014 07:58 pm (UTC)
Mer, I bet I have used swear words as powerful as the ones you used. Yes indeed I am sure that I have.

I am glad you don't think I am mean as a badger with hemorrhoids but I am sure glad cancer does. I am glad you are going to keep that secret to yourself.

I don't understand why the doctor is leaving the tumor there. He seems to think it is no big deal. Okie dokie, lets put one in your spine and see how you like it. Yes, there are several things that can be done to reduce the size of the tumor and prevent it from growing more besides surgery. I don't know why these aren't being considered and yes I asked. I got a lot of weasel words.

Also, in all honesty even if they do something about this tumor that leaves the ruptured disc that is causing probably most of the trouble and it seems that it is in a very "bad" place to try to do surgery that will not make things worse. So it could bed that they don't think that dealing with the tumor will make the situation better over all. So there you go!

Oh, a smack upside the head...go for it girlfriend. I did some verbal smacking already. My questions and comments were very pointed as were Stephanie's.

If the tumor was malignant they would do the same kinds of procedures that they could do if they would take care of it now. There are several minimally invasive procedures that they can do, one of which is radiation whether it is malignant or not. I would have voted for radiation hands down because it is the least invasive and the results are excellent. I didn't get a vote however. I just got dissed in a major way.

As for my governor voting for Obamacare, well that is a long story. He certainly supported it. We ended up with a tea party Republican legislature and well things did not go as well as they could have gone. I have Medicare though so yes, I could get my films and go elsewhere but I am in medical debt so bad that I am drowning and I can't really afford to go elsewhere because the ACA does not really apply that much to me plus I really don't have the heart to listen to someone else tell me "Suck it up buttercup" again this soon.

Frankly, I am glad it is not malignant and I am glad that I don't have to worry about surgery because the guy who I saw(who has an excellent reputation in the state and nation by the way)seems to be more surgery oriented than less invasive oriented and frankly I didn't really want surgery so I don't want to risk ending up with someone who thinks that is just a really nifty idea. I want something much less invasive.

So there you go. Life is interesting.

Hugs, Ardee-ann
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )


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