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About just being me...

I have always striven to just be me and trust me I have done this at great personal cost to myself. It isn't easy to be me, it isn't easy to live with me and it isn't easy to understand me but I have worked very hard to be as authentic as possible and to live an authentic life. Now let me tell you that this has not always thrilled my friends and family...they like me and even love me but they don't always like who I am. I never set out to disappoint or upset anyone but living a life that is a lie is just not my cup of tea. I have paid a dear price for not living the lie and for aiming most of the time for only the truth.

In recent days and weeks I have learned that I am expected to be clever, witty and wise. That I am only supposed to follow certain ways of thinking and that if I do not do so that I will be "slapped down" for daring to be different. To this I say, forget it. I am who I am...sometimes I am very dull witted, surrounded by tomfoolery and filled with ideas that do not meet the expectations of others. If I disappoint you I do apologize but I am not going to change for you or anybody else. I am just me, warts and all.

I find it interesting that kindness, compassion, loyalty and caring are not as important as being lockstepped into a certain way of thinking, being, acting or speaking. How silly is that! I am all of the above and that is enough for me, well I would like to be clever and witty all of the time but that just wasn't meant to be, instead "I bang my own drum some think it's noise, I think it's pretty."

So despite the fact that this blog will have moments that it drags and reads like some old obtuse Victorian literature, I am just me...commenting about my life, the state of the world and my writing. I may include some flash fiction, sometimes it may be very bad but I enjoy doing what I do and I hope that you enjoy it to but if not, well...don't expect me to change I am old and set in my ways.

Ciao!

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Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
(Anonymous)
Jul. 22nd, 2010 12:21 am (UTC)
Good for you...
It's your job to be the best you that you can be and congratulations for knowing what that is. ;) I think that you are probably doing better than most. It's admirable to have a strong conviction, and it's even more so to be able to share it honestly. Good for you.
tanith_astlik
Jul. 22nd, 2010 11:26 am (UTC)
I'm rather baffled that anyone would seek to slap you down for being yourself. I was baffled yesterday and I'm baffled today. :(
ardeeeichelmann
Jul. 22nd, 2010 04:07 pm (UTC)
on being baffled...
I am baffled myself but it seems I have been found by someone to be dull, boring and irrelevant. I was also chastised over another matter in the same comment. I felt the need to say to the world, "I am who I am."

If I am less than interesting at times then so be it, I just do the best I can with what I've got. I put myself out here and show who I am good, bad or indifferent.

Thanks for your note,

Ardee-ann
tanith_astlik
Jul. 22nd, 2010 05:57 pm (UTC)
Re: on being baffled...
Umm, if whoever it was actually knew you, they'd know you're not dull, boring or irrelevant. You and I are what my mother (in a nice way) would call characters. Or eccentric. I got that a bit.

Muah!

Mer xoxox
ardeeeichelmann
Jul. 22nd, 2010 06:01 pm (UTC)
Re: on being baffled...
I am a "character" and totally eccentric...my avatar has me wearing a headband made out of an old Sesame Street sheet from 1978. That is eccentric for sure. LOL!!!!

Cheers,

Ardee-ann
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )

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