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Alone...just me, myself and I...

I have not been in my own residence alone in more than 20 years. Tonight I am. It is a most queer sensation.

There are still things I stop myself from doing because I don't want to disturb Stephanie because, of course, if the house is quiet and her lamp is off then she is sleeping. That isn't the case right now. Stephanie has been gone for the better part of four months. I know that she is in a long term care facility but I think that there are parts of my mind that haven't totally wrapped themselves around that fact. I suppose with time they will, maybe.

The little dog has stayed very close to me most of the time since Stephanie has been gone. I think that she fears that I am going to disappear too. At night, once she is sure that I am going to stay here, usually when I am in my bed asleep, she will go get in her(Stephanie's)bed to sleep for a while but in the morning she is right back in her bed in my room. She isn't going to take any chances. She is going to keep an eye on me.

Little dog is having oral surgery tomorrow morning so she is spending the night at the animal hospital. Every time I get up to do something I wonder where she is. When I go to the kitchen I check to see if she has "done her business" in case I need to change her puppy pad. Then I realize she is not here either.

My house is devoid of dogs, girlfriends, children, cats, inside or outside(even when outside they were under
the house). It is just me. Not even any moths flying around the porch light. Just me alone. So very disquieting and yet peaceful in other ways.

Little dog comes home tomorrow afternoon. I will be so very glad to see her and I hope that when her mouth heals up she will be able to gnaw on her sticks and wrestle her "fluffies" to the ground. I will get to hear her "digging through to China" before she decides her bed is sufficiently ready for her to sleep in.

I tend to be a hermit but when you are used to having life forms sharing your space it just doesn't feel right when they are gone.

Ciao babes!


White Trash Foot

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