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Dragging My Feet...

As part of NaNoWriMo 2009  nanaowrimo.org I wrote a beautiful and touching novel. I am in love with this novel and the people who live in it. I don't care if it ever finds a publisher, I know that I have written a wonderful novel that is packed with an amazing emotional punch. I am not being conceited, I just know that it is powerful, for me anyway and that is what counts. I got my first novel ever finished and I love it.

I have done two rounds of edits on this novel and since then I am DRAGGING MY FEET. Part of the reason is that I cry every time I read this novel, it is that emotional for me. I wrote about a difficult subject, death and dying, which leads to a lot of emotional upheaval when reading the story. It is hard to read the book. This makes it had to finish the edits because quite frankly, this book is like having an anvil dropped on your foot.

I am also DRAGGING MY FEET because even though I love this book and know that it is wonderful. I don't want to hear any criticism of the book. I don't mind critiques, I don't mind helpful suggestions but if one person says, "This book chomps," I don't know how I would respond. I don't think it would be very professional.

I think I should have written something that didn't resonate so powerfully with me for my first novel. I just should have written something less personal and let myself get toughened up before presenting something that really meant something to me.

I write bad fiction every day. It is intentionally bad. I write it in hopes of someone saying that maybe I should consider a career in deodorant arm pit sniffing instead of writing but they don't. This does not help me to get toughened up so that I can finish writing, "As If A Transitive Verb," which is my novel, so I DRAG MY FEET.

I will keep blogging, poorly and writing bad fiction. I will look at "As If A Transitive Verb: and cry and maybe, just maybe I can finsih it and be brave enough to "put it out there." I have even considered just publishing it as a serial novel online. I don't need to be something more than I am. I just need to let "As If A Transitive Verb" fly and quit DRAGGING MY FEET.




Aug. 24th, 2010 03:40 pm (UTC)
I expected the revisions to be the hard part...the book was easy to write, though also painful and emotional, in comparison. I thought it would get easier after the second edit but the third edit attempt has been very difficult indeed. I know I need to JUST DO IT but I keep putting it off. Time to "fish or cut bait."

Thank you for your comment.




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