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It may sound melodramatic but...

I feel like someone has plunged a knife into my heart. The pain I am enduring is palpable to say the least. It is as if I don't exist in the life of one I love so very much. How queer, if I had treated him as he treats me I would be viewed as a monster and yet, he feels free to treat me as if I don't even live and breathe. I certainly don't understand it at all.

I really will be glad when I get through this grotesque pain that permeates my being and sears my soul with the white hot fire of despair. It really is eating away at my soul.

For whatever reason my son shuns me, after giving him all the love I could give and more, he decides now that he does not need me. He claims another woman as his mother. How ironic that this should be the case.

I want to know WHY. Why does he feel that he doesn't even need to pay me the most simple courtesy? I am so confused and abjectly sorrow filled. I need to just let go. If he loves me, he will come back. If he doesn't, it is his loss. I still love him with a love that knows no bounds. It is an unsettling situation that I find myself in. I sincerely do not understand it all.

Life is sometimes so confusing.

Ciao!

Comments

(Anonymous)
Feb. 7th, 2011 01:57 pm (UTC)
Re: I am so sorry
Oh Ardee, I am so sorry. Sending prayers for peace and hugs of love your way.

Heather

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White Trash Foot
ardeeeichelmann
ardeeeichelmann

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