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On May 7, 2011 I posted about falling with a pot of boiling water and burning myself http://ardeeeichelmann.livejournal.com/2011/05/07/ in a post called, "Whoopsie Daisy." Well, it is time to tell the tale of my adventures with making a mess in the kitchen, winding up on the floor and hurting myself but at least I wasn't burned this time.

The tale all begins with making spaghetti. The sauce is cooked and the water is boiling for the pasta to be put in the pot. Well, I picked up a recently purchased box of spaghetti from a WELL KNOWN retailer, open it, break some in half and start putting it into the pot. As I get to my second batch of spaghetti to break and put in the pot I notice the webs of WEEVIL BUGS in my brand new box of pasta. That's right the WELL KNOWN retailer has sold me spaghetti with WEEVIL BUGS in it. (I knew there was a reason I seldom shopped at said WELL KNOWN retailer. It was WEEVIL BUGS!)

Well, I threw away the dry pasta and weevil bugs. I then take the pasta in the pot over to the sink to pour it out. As the boiling water goes down the drain I determine that the pasta is still crunchy. I KNOW better than to put cooked pasta in the garbage disposal because it will clog up you pipes and gum up the works but I thought, "Hey, this pasta is crunchy, the garbage disposal will 'chew it up' and it will go down the drain with no trouble." That was a STOOPID thought on my part. I should have just let the pasta cool off and put it in the trash but ON NO I thought the garbage disposal could handle it and that would be that. DUMB ME!!!!

The pipes got clogged up. I plunged and plunged and plunged. Then I plunged some more. For thirty minutes I plunged to no avail. My back and arms which hurt all of the time anyway were KILLING ME and I still had a sink FULL OF WATER!!!! I called Steffie for back up. I was going to have to take the p-trap off to clear up the clog. Steph got there. I went to the kitchen floor with a thud. Arthritic knees only bend SO far and I am a hefty Hannah so it was a painful controlled fall on an already injured back. (It hasn't recuperated since the fall in May just for starters.)

So there I am, on the kitchen floor. I have a bucket under the pipe and remove the p-trap which is FULL of crunched up pasta. I get Steffie to hand me a knife so I can dig it out. I clear the p-trap and then realize that no water has come out of the sink. Well, the pipe leading from the garbage disposal to the p-trap is ALSO clogged with crunched up pasta. So I use my finger and the butter knife to start digging out crunched up pasta. All of the sudden I hear it break loose and the water starts coming. Do I think to do anything to control this flow, well NO, because I am a dumb a**. I start praying, "Please don't overflow, please don't over flow," about the bucket and then said disgustedly. "It overflowed." Dirty water went cascading onto ME and the kitchen floor. It was quite the mess. As I am moving things under the sink so I can get Steffie to take the full bucket out of the way I find a bottle of laundry detergent that has broken and get laundry detergent all over me, so I am covered in dirty water, broken crunchy pasta and laundry detergent. OH HAPPY DAY!!!!
Steffie gets towels to make a dam on the kitchen floor. She takes my house shoes so they don't get ruined and then takes the bucket full of nasty water that needs to be emptied. As I am fighting with the stuff under the sink and trying to dry out the cabinet, Steffie dumps the bucket.

I put the p-trap back on, clean up putrid water from the floor and get Steph to lean over me to turn on the water to make sure the p-trap is secure. That mission was accomplished.

The broken bottle of laundry detergent was in the trash but not without making quite the mess. Fortunately with the water and towels we got a nice shine on the kitchen floor. If you are in a PINCH you can use laundry detergent to mop your floor. Who knew?

Now it was time to get my soggy fat self off of the floor so that I could get the wet house dress off of me and clean off the laundry detergent that I had from head to toe. Don't ASK, I DON'T KNOW how it happened it just did.

Stephanie brought a chair for me to brace myself with but I was in a TINY area facing away from the chair so turning around was going to be a trick. I was between a table, a cabinet and the washing machine with mere inches separating me from them. Finally after much "to do" I got turned around and started trying to stand up. I am in excruciating pain at this point and am ready to just be interred on the kitchen floor but finally get myself pulled up and in an upright position. I take off the nasty dirty house dress and put it in the sink to rinse it. Remember it is already soaked in laundry detergent so all I need to add is clean water. I rinse out the dress. It the towels and some rags get thrown into the washer and put on to wash.

I then ventured to the shower, washed the scuz off of me, take some Tylenol, get a fresh house dress and then go to find more pasta to we can eat dinner. There was another box of pasta from said WELL KNOWN retailer and it was infested too. Into the trash it went but I was careful and did NOT besmirch my nice fresh boiling pasta water with this WEEVIL INFESTED spaghetti recently purchased from the WELL KNOWN retailer.

We ended up eating spaghetti sauce over macaroni. It was delicious as I was a STARVED DOG by that time. I could have eaten shoe leather I think.

After dinner Steph helped me to clean up and put away leftovers. I took my medication adding a muscle relaxer. I knew that I would be in pain the next day from rolling around on the wet floor like a Weeble that not only wobbled but it did fall down. What a night!

Just remember what you learned from me. CRUNCHY PASTA will NOT go down the garbage disposal. This will save you a heap of trouble.



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