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Well, how the heck did this happen???? I am just an ornery old Scrooge, yet here I am thinking about the holidays and getting all nostalgic. I want to watch Christmas movies. I want to listen to Christmas music and feel the holiday rhythm soaring through my veins. This is pretty uncharacteristic for me. I think it must be the lack of sleep. LOL!!!!

I used to LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the holidays until there became too many holiday obligations. I was a social worker and had to work to provide Christmas to many, many children and families on my caseload. It was an obligation that I took very seriously and it stole time that I should have been spending with my son creating Christmas memories for us. Yes, the work I did was important but so is my son. I lost so many opportunities because of my work. I can't tell you the hours that were spent trying to create Christmas for our clients. It was overwhelming. I got tired of Christmas and its many obligations. I didn't have enough time to do everything I needed and wanted to do. I was stretched way too thin. I wasn't very jolly.

I still loved the old Christmas movies. "It's a Wonderful Life" always makes me cry. I adored "A Christmas Story" and made sure that my son got a Red Ryder BB gun! Christmas carols brought/bring a lump to my throat and made/make me misty. I didn't turn my back on Christmas I just went through the motions of the celebration because it was required. I always remembered the reason for the season. I just didn't play the Christmas game. It was a chore.

Despite the fact that I feel the spirit in me this year I won't be decorating and making cookies. I am going to enter a fun contest for the craziest decorating job with one string of lights. I will make simmering potpourri so that our house will smell like Christmas. I will find a way to make at least one charitable donation for the holidays, because that's how I roll. I might even get some kind of Christmas jewelry to wear at the flea market when I work with mom. Of course, I will spend time contemplating the beauty of the miracle at Bethlehem. I never fail to do that.

I am going to enjoy every bright moment that I can this holiday season. It will be my gift to myself.



White Trash Foot

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